|
I Can't Weight (One Man's Diet)
By: Gary E. Anderson
From the book Spider’s Big Catch Like many people, I've decided I need to take off a little weight from the holidays—the holidays of six years ago. But I've never dieted before, so being a conscientious kinda guy, I logged into my favorite web browser for some advice. I found 3,978,158,342 sites offering help with losing a few pounds. (In fact, I was so overwhelmed, I had to grab a sandwich before even tackling the search.) As a public service, I'll try to encapsulate what I learned, although I may have gotten a little confused by some of the terminology. Most of the sites spent considerable time talking about calories, so maybe we should start there. As far as I could make out, a calorie is defined as the amount of heat it takes to raise a gram of water from 58 degrees to 60 degrees Fahrenheit. Immediately, that fact brought several questions to mind. First, who decided that? Why 58 to 60? That’s not even hot enough to take a bath in! Next, if one calorie raises the temperature of water 2 degrees, and the human body is 90% water, why don’t millions of Americans boil over during the holidays, after consuming billions of calories at one sitting? That definition implies that a person should be able to eat a million calories a day, as long as he spaced them out, to avoid boiling over. You could eat, let your body cool back down, then eat a bunch more, and never gain any weight – it made sense to me. That concept must be common knowledge to the world at large, which would explain why you so rarely see people boil over in public. But since I’m new to this dieting business, it came as exciting news for me. It’s amazing how one fact like learning how calories are measured can make so many other things fall into place. Based on that knowledge, one could offer an explanation for one of the strangest mysteries affecting human beings -- spontaneous combustion. I’m willing to wager that if investigators carefully checked the area next to the easy chair where the victim had burst into flames, they'd find a half-eaten chocolate éclair or cream-filled doughnut. That last rush of calories was probably just what it took to send that poor person's body over the edge. The result? A pile of ash, and a half-eaten bear claw. Based on my research, here’s my recommendation: I call it my "Don't Boil Over" diet. You can eat all you want, as long as it doesn’t contain enough calories to push your temperature above 212 degrees Fahrenheit. And be careful not to drink too much hot stuff while you’re eating, since you never know when you might be going too far. And one last caution: by all means, if you smell smoke, back off! There you have it. Feel free to pass it on to your friends, especially those who’ve looked like they might be smoldering from time to time. Who knows? You just might be saving them the embarrassment of bursting into flames at the next church potluck. © Gary E. Anderson. All rights reserved. About The Author Gary Anderson is a freelance writer, editor, ghostwriter, and manuscript analyst, living on a small Iowa farm. He’s published more than 500 articles and four books. He’s also ghosted a dozen books, edited more than 30 full-length manuscripts, produced seven newsletters, and has done more than 800 manuscript reviews for various publishers around the nation. If you need writing or editing help, visit Gary’s website at www.abciowa.com. abciowa@alpinecom.net Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/
Return to Index
email this
page
Still haven't found what you are
looking for?
Try this search:
Free Email
List Reveals health,
fitness and wellness
tips - secrets and information - delivered directly to
your inbox
How to Benefit from the Mind-Body Connection
(excerpt)
You are about to gain insight into the
mind-body connection. The number of
people who truly understand these principles on our
planet are relatively few.
There is an undeniable connection between our minds and
bodies, you can learn
to use this fact to your benefit.
Dr. Bernie Siegel, author of "Love, Medicine and
Miracles" was once a
distraught cancer surgeon until he
began to understand the greater principles
of the mind-
body connection. He felt dragged down by the artificial
barriers
that existed between patient and doctor, and the
helplessness he often felt as
a result of his inability
to effectively serve those patients. Eventually, those
barriers
were disintegrated by Dr. Siegel's recognition
and growing understanding of the
mind-body connection and
how it could serve his patients and himself.
Dr. Siegel, or Bernie as he began to have his patients
refer to him, had some
startling realizations as a cancer surgeon. He found that
there were actually
quite a few people in the world that successfully beat
the statistics on cancer
survival. He began to recognize that a patient's ability
to defeat something as
serious as cancer had to do with the patient's mind and
attitude about their
disease.
If you would like to see the rest of
this article, please go here:
http://www.tobeinformed.com/repository/mind-body.html
copyright 2004 - David Snape
|