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Frankie The French Fry Hatches A Plan
By: Ridgely Goldsborough
Frankie saddled up to the bar at the We-Stuff-Em-All Diner, official headquarters of Fat For A New America. He turned to his most portly friend, Bubba the Burger, and launched a tirade.“If we don’t do something now, we could lose all our progress, twenty-five years of expanding and accumulating straight down the drain--if you catch my flow.”“Did you call the others?” Bubba asked.“Yeah. Sophie and Bunnie are on the way. I told them we needed an emergency meeting.”“What about Mickey?” Bubba continued.“Holy preservatives, I forgot him. Let me borrow your cell.”Bubba passed him the phone. Sophie The Soft Drink and Bunnie The Bun waddled through the front door, followed by Mickey The Malt a few minutes later. The group moved to the corner booth, brainstorm central for all Fat For A New America founders.“We face a potential shrinkage crisis,” Frankie began. “We need to bind together and map out a new strategy.”“For the love of lard, Frankie, give us a break,” Sophie started. “We’ve already captured over two thirds of the entire population, half of them with over 30 pounds each of good ol’, genuine American-made blubber. We’re killin’ `em out there.”“You don’t get it, Sophie,” Frankie argued adamantly. “Even though we’ve trapped the overwhelming majority, not a single one of `em wants us to stick around—so to speak. If we give them any kind of opening, we’re history.”“Not only that,” Bubba added, “our enemies the vegetables don’t care. They’re quite happy to be consumed and eliminated without leaving anything behind—no future, no legacy, nothing to show at all.”“I never understood that mentality,” Mickey piped in. “No vision whatsoever—way too small-minded, if you see what I mean.”“Yeah, very thin thinking,” Bunnie chimed. “For flab’s sake, enough chatter,” ordered Frankie. “Time to glob together. We need to neutralize the threats once and for all. Sophie, you’ve been dealing with enemy number two, fruit. What’s your report?”“Good news on all fronts,” Sophie responded. “Operation Can `Em or Juice `Em is processing at full speed. We took out most of Poppa Pear and trapped him in chemicals inside a can, turned Abe Apple into either sauce or sugar-laden drinks and created a whole line of fake juices that confuse almost everybody into believing that they’re getting real fruit when actually the whole bottle has less than 10%. The rest is all water, sugar and colorings—perfect for fat conversion.”“Well lumberin’ love handles, that’s excellent.” Frankie wiped the grease from his brow. “As we grow that operation, we’ll control the fruit market—get rid of those who act too fresh. Bubba, you have a another proposal…”“Yeah. It’s called Salt, Sweeten & Stimulate—a movement that we have total control over.” Bubba gazed around the table. “All of us play a corpulent role.” Bubba chortled at his best pal. “Frankie, you first. Can you add more salt to your ingredients?”“Sure, Bubba. No problem.” “More salt will cause more bloating since it can only stay in humans in saline. More bloating, more weight, less exercise, more need for stimulants, you get the drift—which leads me to you Sophie. Can you bump up your caffeine content?”“Whatever the cause calls for, Bubba.”Bubba gloated chubbily. “More stimulants, higher highs, quicker crashes, more cravings for sugar. That’s where you come in, Mickey. Can you double your sweetness?”“For sure, my bulbous brother.” Bubba’s lips dripped with oil. “More sugar, more fat storage, more spikes and less energy for anything that could dissolve us in any way.”Bubba drooled with gluttony. ”Bunnie, you’re last—the hostess with the mostest—the one that holds us all together. I want you to do it all—more salt to your deliciously nutritionless processed flour; a sugar glazing to the top of each bun; more sugar in the mix; and chemicals that will bind and bind and bind.” Bubba laughed so hard he almost lost his mustard.“If we work together, we’ll form more tires than Goodyear,” Bubba gleefully declared. “Our place in history forever anchored to their mid-rifts.” “Outstanding,” Frankie praised. “Truly gelatinous. But we still have to deal with enemy number one—those vile vegetables.”“We’re making some progress, Frankie,” Bunnie chirped. “We got ketchup classified as a vegetable in the school system and packed it full of both sugar and salt—addict `em while they’re young and defenseless.” “It’s not the sauces I’m worried about,” Frankie espoused. “We’ve crammed most of them with salt or sugar or both. The greenies pose our biggest challenge, Artie Artichoke, Gretta Green Bean and our archrival, Sallie Salad. If they gain any momentum, they might get into a zone. Remember, they produce slow-burning fuel and disappear without a trace—a total waste! If humans get hip, we’ll go the way of the glacier—melt city!”Frankie mopped more grease from his tubby cheeks.“As much as we all hate salads, we need more sugar and salt on those veggies—drown their virtues in creaminess, sweetness and glutomates. We need an ally on the inside. I say we call Deirdre—Deirdre The Dressing Queen. I know that’s extreme, so let’s take a vote.” One by one, the Fat For A New America founders thrust their pudgy hands into the center of the council and gave the thumbs up. In one voice, they began to chant, faster and faster to the final, oversized crescendo:“Fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, MOOOOOOOOOOOOOORE fat, fat!!!”“Meeting adjourned,” ordered Frankie. “A waist is a terrible thing to mind—let’s eat.”TO BE CONTINUED… Author Ridgely Goldsborough co-founded The YoungSlim Lifestyle, an integrated approach to weight-management and anti-aging that can be reviewed in streaming video at http://www.youngslim.com. Ridgely can be emailed directly at ridgely@youngslim.com. Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/
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How to Benefit from the Mind-Body Connection
(excerpt)
You are about to gain insight into the
mind-body connection. The number of
people who truly understand these principles on our
planet are relatively few.
There is an undeniable connection between our minds and
bodies, you can learn
to use this fact to your benefit.
Dr. Bernie Siegel, author of "Love, Medicine and
Miracles" was once a
distraught cancer surgeon until he
began to understand the greater principles
of the mind-
body connection. He felt dragged down by the artificial
barriers
that existed between patient and doctor, and the
helplessness he often felt as
a result of his inability
to effectively serve those patients. Eventually, those
barriers
were disintegrated by Dr. Siegel's recognition
and growing understanding of the
mind-body connection and
how it could serve his patients and himself.
Dr. Siegel, or Bernie as he began to have his patients
refer to him, had some
startling realizations as a cancer surgeon. He found that
there were actually
quite a few people in the world that successfully beat
the statistics on cancer
survival. He began to recognize that a patient's ability
to defeat something as
serious as cancer had to do with the patient's mind and
attitude about their
disease.
If you would like to see the rest of
this article, please go here:
http://www.tobeinformed.com/repository/mind-body.html
copyright 2004 - David Snape
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